W W T D? — What Would Terry Do?

     One can go back in time, clothes-wise, and find that women were the first to wear pants. (Yes, that means men were still wearing skirts). But, my curiosity more often goes to the future rather than back in time. I suppose that contributed to my disinterest in high-school history class – or was I just a normally flawed teenager?
     Anyway, I wonder what the future will hold clothes-wise. I hope there will still be clothes, and I assume that industry does also. Fashions cycle, and so are not much of an indicator. That is, unless they’re indicating that the cycles will continue forever. In America, clothes go out of style very fast. In other cultures, they’re still wearing the same style they did 4000 years ago. So, it’s conceivable that those cultures be wearing the same style 4000 years from now. But what will clothes be like in America 4000 years from now?
     The military (and skiers) have clothes which will keep their body temperature stable for long periods of time – until the clothes get dirty. Most of this fabric is known by the brand name Gortex. In a similar vein, some companies sew computer chips which are preset to a certain temperature into clothing. This keeps the clothing at a preset temperature. This fabric is popular for both outdoor wear, and for nursing blankets. I know this sounds futuristic, but it’s present-day stuff. This is something I think I would have thought of if somebody hadn’t thought of it before me.
     Perhaps I can win the Nobel Prize for Ideas with some of my thoughts for advances that I imagine will be made to clothing in the next 4000 years. That is provided nobody else hasn’t already thought of these:
     Firstly, I hope that all clothing will be made from environmentally safe materials and through environmentally safe methods. That will give those with MCS a much greater selection of places to purchase their clothing.
     Secondly, some sci-fi books would have us believe that clothes will be so efficient that they’ll recycle body fluids. I’m not for this, but it will probably be the case – at least in hospitals. Ok, not my idea, but perhaps I’ll get credit for mentioning it.
     Next, they’ll probably have built in propulsion packs – just like jet-man or James Bond, except you won’t have to wear an extra jet-pack, the clothes will contain a hidden one. This will be handy for getting around, so long as you don’t lose your shirt in the process.
     Fourth, the astronauts union will go on strike until somebody combines these last two advances, so that astronauts won’t have to wear bulky space suits in space. (Inside space ships (the shuttle) and in the space station, astronauts already wear shorts and short-sleeved shirts and have no need for space suits, until they venture outside.) This will also come in handy for those with MCS.
     Fifth, a modified version of the astronauts suit will be available for those living on the ocean floor, and for those on Venus – the water planet.
     Speaking of other planets, I suppose some of our styles will come from other planets. I can hear it now: “And now, walking down the aisle, our model is wearing a dress which was flown in all the way from the fashion planet Aurora Borealis, in the constellation Betelgeuse.”

     If doctors get their way, our clothes will monitor our bodily functions and call 911 when we’re having a heart-attack. I’m not sure I want to stay alive quite that badly, but if that feature comes free – why not? This type of smart clothing is currently dubbed intelligent wear.
     My best idea I’ve saved for last and that is the holographic line of clothing. These clothes will not be clothes at all, but will be holographic images of clothes. All you’ll actually be wearing is a holo computer chip (holochip) which will contain images of several styles of clothes. With a thought, you can change the style and color of the clothes you’re wearing. Working in the yard? Just think and you’ll be wearing work clothes, complete with hard hat and goggles if need be. Going to work? Just think and you’ll be wearing a $1000 suit. Going to a party? Just think and you’re wearing the latest fashion dress, complete with all the accessories.
     The holochip emanates resequenced photons. These project an image to any viewer. In this case the image is of clothes covering your body. An advanced (more costly) model allows you to project different images to different viewers. For example, you might want your mom to see you in nice, but plain clothes. At the same time, you might want your friends to see you in something more hip.
     In order to cover your body most efficiently, the holochip needs to be near the center of the body. Worn here it takes the resequenced photons the least amount of energy to reach both the top of your head and the bottom of your feet. With this in mind, the holochip is designed to double as a belly-button ring.

     Those are some of the features I imagine clothes will have 4000 years from now. However, all I really want is clothes that light up when it gets dark. Oh, they already had that in the 60’s, it was called neon clothing.
     I also like the idea of clothes that adjust to the shape of your body. No more worrying about gaining weight. And, I could have shoes which would actually fit my 7½ EEEEE feet! And, I forgot again, it’s called elastic or spandex. Well, they still could make an improvement in shoes. I suppose that might be a feature of the holochip. I’ll have to remember to charge extra for it!
     Sounds like I’m not coming up with too many new ideas. I guess we’ll just have to wait 4000 years to find out what clothes will be like then. Since that’s the case, and since I’d really like to know what clothes will be like then, I guess I’d better order some intelligent-wear to monitor my body functions, so I can be alive then!
     When I find out I’ll send a t-mail (time travel e-mail) to let you know.

     But, it’s not only clothes which could use improvements. What about clothes maintenance apparatii (plural of apparatus). Mostly, we’re talking washers and dryer’s here.
     One idea I’ve heard of is a washer-dryer combination. I’m not sure whether it will be called a wryer or a drasher. Anyway, the idea is that you hang up your clothes in it. Then it washes, dries, and presses your clothes. So, when they come out, they’re hung up and ready to wear. I, however, am not too sure I want my underwear hung up and ready to wear.
     Another idea that I hear is being worked on is irradiating the clothes to clean them. That may be the wash, dry, press method that’s envisioned for the previous idea. I suppose the idea here is that if we can irradiate food, why can’t we irradiate clothes. And besides, irradiating clothes does not require FDA approval. I suppose it will keep the clothes from getting ripe too soon. Irradiate your clothes if you want to, but don’t come complaining to me when they register on your geiger counter.

My idea for a future clothes washer and dryer is to hang the clothes on a clothes line behind a rocket ship. Take the ship over the ocean and let the clothes dip in, then pull the clothes out of the water and go to Mach IV to dry them.

Book 5
My World of Clothes

Written by Dale Stubbart
Blessed by Terry Stubbart

Page 5 through 6 of 7
Nov 2000